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Aug. 12th, 2009 02:41 pmhttp://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2177417&id=38302384
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2177430&id=38302384
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2177899&id=38302384
yeah, i was going to go into detail about my trip and i've just been swamped. so that's my three photo albums on facebook (yes, you'll see who i am in real life. shocker) and it goes in order including paris, poznan, warsaw and nyc. enjoy!
i think the only other reason i'm on here at all today is because i'm hiding out.
there's been too many arguments in my house. and i'm getting tired of it. this time, it's about my asshole sister who is trying to get back with her husband, despite the fact that (a) he has girlfriends... yes, plural, (b) he doesn't want her, and (c) she's reduced herself to a booty call. my cousin, who shares the house with my sister, wants to make rules about when my sister's husband can be in the house. since she doesn't pay bills there, but my parents do, they told her they'll fix it. my cousin, not wanting that answer, keeps on, and starts getting disrespectful. my dad, who'd just come off 4 days of working almost non-stop at work (he worked 40 hours, no sleep, then long days thereafter with little sleep), starts yelling.
here's the problem. my grandmother just... takes my cousin's side and says she's not being disrespectful. and basically laughing at my dad who's since lost his voice from yelling. because my dad DOESN'T YELL. when i point out to my grandmother that yes, trying to make my parents do something in a house that she doesn't pay for, or arguing back at my parents and raising her voice because "she's grown" is disrespectful and no one would stand for it if i'd done the same to say... my cousin's mom before she died... my grandmother DOESN'T LISTEN.
i'm beginning to think that the only way anyone'll listen to me is if both my parents die. clearly that's the way to get heard.
i just... i'm tired. nothing i do is enough. it's not about being good enough or fast enough or strong enough. it's all of it. not enough. because working, going to school, taking care of sick parents (yes, parents. plural. because a narcoleptic father and a mother who cannot take care of herself counts as fucking sick parents), cooking, trying to be spiritual and BEING THE FUCKING PEACEMAKER...
i'm tired.
my parents swore they'd never do anything for their kids if they went off and (became gay, had sex outside of marriage, etc)... but they're certainly taking care of my sister. my grandmother doesn't claim to have favorites, but the only grandchildren she cares about are my cousin (who does nothing for anyone) and my brother (who has always been the golden boy, even when he was an asswipe).
why the fuck am i still here?? my mom knows i want to leave... i just need to finish school first. i just spent an hour combing craigslist in the bay area. if i can find a job, then i can deal with 1500 a month for an apartment, so long as i have a car first. it'll happen, right?
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2177430&id=38302384
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2177899&id=38302384
yeah, i was going to go into detail about my trip and i've just been swamped. so that's my three photo albums on facebook (yes, you'll see who i am in real life. shocker) and it goes in order including paris, poznan, warsaw and nyc. enjoy!
i think the only other reason i'm on here at all today is because i'm hiding out.
there's been too many arguments in my house. and i'm getting tired of it. this time, it's about my asshole sister who is trying to get back with her husband, despite the fact that (a) he has girlfriends... yes, plural, (b) he doesn't want her, and (c) she's reduced herself to a booty call. my cousin, who shares the house with my sister, wants to make rules about when my sister's husband can be in the house. since she doesn't pay bills there, but my parents do, they told her they'll fix it. my cousin, not wanting that answer, keeps on, and starts getting disrespectful. my dad, who'd just come off 4 days of working almost non-stop at work (he worked 40 hours, no sleep, then long days thereafter with little sleep), starts yelling.
here's the problem. my grandmother just... takes my cousin's side and says she's not being disrespectful. and basically laughing at my dad who's since lost his voice from yelling. because my dad DOESN'T YELL. when i point out to my grandmother that yes, trying to make my parents do something in a house that she doesn't pay for, or arguing back at my parents and raising her voice because "she's grown" is disrespectful and no one would stand for it if i'd done the same to say... my cousin's mom before she died... my grandmother DOESN'T LISTEN.
i'm beginning to think that the only way anyone'll listen to me is if both my parents die. clearly that's the way to get heard.
i just... i'm tired. nothing i do is enough. it's not about being good enough or fast enough or strong enough. it's all of it. not enough. because working, going to school, taking care of sick parents (yes, parents. plural. because a narcoleptic father and a mother who cannot take care of herself counts as fucking sick parents), cooking, trying to be spiritual and BEING THE FUCKING PEACEMAKER...
i'm tired.
my parents swore they'd never do anything for their kids if they went off and (became gay, had sex outside of marriage, etc)... but they're certainly taking care of my sister. my grandmother doesn't claim to have favorites, but the only grandchildren she cares about are my cousin (who does nothing for anyone) and my brother (who has always been the golden boy, even when he was an asswipe).
why the fuck am i still here?? my mom knows i want to leave... i just need to finish school first. i just spent an hour combing craigslist in the bay area. if i can find a job, then i can deal with 1500 a month for an apartment, so long as i have a car first. it'll happen, right?
