wellownedbkup: (see no evil)
what a time for me to go out sick. i actually have zero motivation to do my homework right now.

what do i have to do??
  1. essai universitaire-- my POV on my french studies, and my journey thus far. due nowish.
  2. essai professionel-- how french fits into my future plans... which would be awesome. if i had future plans that were any kind of set in stone. due nowish.
  3. 10 minute cours grammaire-- if-then clauses in french. to be taught to my classmates en francais on tuesday. :(
  4. essay on some scholarly article vs. cortes or dracula. real men, real history. have no idea of the due date, and am trying *not* to contemplate this paper yet. it's probably due tuesday, just for that.
  5. about two weeks of work in intro to theatre. woops. due this weekend, what with it being online. which apparently includes writing a play?? DAMMIT.
  6. reading 2 chapters in my linguistic/translation book. which will kill my brain on principle, i think, just cause i really can't stand linguistics anymore.
  7. at least 5K on the Torchwood BB;
  8. at least 4K on the SPN BB.
  9. email Mme Randolph about shadowing her over spring break and teaching a class at the end of that week... um. yeah. D: as well as convey my sympathies about the earthquake in Port au Prince in case she has any family there still.
  10. speaking of stuff to buy, buy my ticket for the play next week and prep for the subsequent paper;
  11. pay for my 2 CLEP tests that'll help me graduate.
  12. send in course substitution papers.
  13. set up appt with Pfeffer about graduation tracking.


i know there's other stuff, but i can't think of it now. which blows. because i probably have forgotten about the rest of the important things.

but you see what i'm doing?? i'm procrastinating on LJ instead of working on *any* of it. the only thing close to done is the cours grammaire, and that's cause i spent all day yesterday piddling about with it. i still have to come up with better "exercises" to work on... but for now, i can't be bothered.

fuck homework. :(
wellownedbkup: (GTFO)
Something that has always puzzled me all my life is why, when I am in special need of help, the good deed is usually done by somebody on whom I have no claim. ~William Feather


talk about being in need of special help... ugh.

ok, i've been whining about this on twitter ALL FREAKING DAY so why not add it to my journal too!?!?

the background )

cut to 5 pm TUESDAY. "can you send me a ppt version instead of a pptx version? i haven't updated to office 07, but i've finished the first part of what i'm talking about." great. "and those things you researched aren't part of the code; they're tangential. you would've known this if you hadn't just looked at wikipedia. see, look at this french wikipedia link for proof that i'm right. just redo your research and send me what you've got so i can check the spelling and everything before we present." (note, not his actual words, but the gist is the same)

here's where i freak the fuck out... )

so you can see i'm understandably upset. my presentation's in 12 hours or so. and i still don't have a finished product. only two good things have happened at all this week, only one of which i had a hand in. i got a 100 on my first oral presentation (poetry recitation in french) on monday because an old professor taught me how to do so for a competition in middle school.

the other thing was some facebook backup by a friend of my brother's. i was getting lectured on my faith vs. homeschooling (if i truly believed we were living in the time of the end, then why would i say that homeschooling was a bad thing?), and dude backed me up by reminding the lecturer that our timetable is not Jah's, so we have to prepare for all eventualities. including one where this girl's daughter graduates high school and has to enter the workforce. she'll have to face faith issues eventually, so public school may be her best option. better now than later, right??

anyway. dude was awesome on backing me up... and i can't even claim him as my own.
wellownedbkup: (Default)
i know i said i was considering it. not you know... terribly well, but considering it.

so last night, i was looking over financial aid and whatnot, considering that now i'm back in good standing. so i won't get KEES money anymore. i took too long and it runs out 8 semesters after high school.... (way to get your grades up too late for that, bud) and then i started seeing a whole bunch of other stuff. TEACH grants, minority teacher recruitment, etc. all for teaching in underprivileged schools in high-need fields.

so i check. yep. french is a high need field.

and, yes, JCPS is a low income school system. SCORE. i ain't even gotta move. (well, i want to, but i don't have to.)

not to mention they have alt.certification for folks who go in and work in the school system where there's a need, and then still go for their teaching certification. so not only will i be working in the school system i grew up in, i'll be working in a high-need field, helping kids who grew up poor like me as church mice.

my only downfalls are the following:

  • i hate homework. if i become a teacher, it'll be nothing but homework. not to mention the 2+ years of grad school that will be just as full of homework.

  • i hate waking up early. and whaddya know? school is nothing *but* waking up early. ugh. if i had a car, less trouble, but still. i took off the second day of school simply because my body couldn't take two days in a row of early call. imagine having to do so because i got paid to do so.

  • two more years of school. i could go and do something in those two years. like be a better christian. fall in love. travel the world. something. anything.

  • not to mention the money.



yeah. so that may be the reason i don't do that. but goodness. you know what i mean? there's opportunity in the wings, y'all.
wellownedbkup: (academia)
not that anyone's gonna be reading this any time soon, but. hi.

last day of school today, and what a wash. totally coulda stayed home and actually worked on my paper or something. though getting back my poetry was pretty awesome (95%, with notes about how cute that old canterbury tale was, and how he wished i/we employed more slant rhyme and line enjambment... whatever).

also awesome? i *don't* have to pay the single supplement to go on the trip. woot! it was gonna be an extra grand out of pocket cause my old roommate dropped (i hadn't met her, so i'm glad she's gone now); yet they found a new one and sent an invoice saying i didn't have to pay. woo. load off my mind! and saving me money, too. i'd only gotten a little saved for school and poland. i sincerely hope that whoever's giving me money for the trip would just get it to me already. i've got stuff to buy (camera, books for summer term II, ipod, plane ticket) as well as plans to make for NYC.

i'm having a lot of trouble focusing. it may be related to the way i just cannot get to sleep at night this week (pain + a monthly curse/gift leading to long days of sleeping in and long nights of insomnia). but i finished my french paper a day late (he's gonna kill me about that), and i've yet to really start another paper (can't find the book), and even more important is the way i've got a day and a half to write 7 pgs minimum, and i've got one paragraph and a half dozen notes. screwed? i think so.

handling stress is not my strongest point.

in other news, i may have talked my sister into traveling with me next year. i'm going to europe next summer (if it kills me) as my graduation present to me. gives me something to look forward to, no doubt. but i want to go and condense my gap year, ok? i thought about doing one of those internships through university of dreams (i'm really proud of laura for getting into that), but i don't want to give up 8 weeks of my summer. i figure maybe i can talk my uncle tim into letting me work part time for him? getting his website together and bringing him up into at least the 90s, let alone the new millennium. and, hey, i could totally write it off as a tax expense, right? actually set up drowning!Ophelia as a tech support company, if in name only. i'd always operate at a loss, yeah? but you know. whatever. i just need a change of scenery. can't stay in louisville.

still have no frikkin clue what i'm doing after school. maybe interpreting. maybe teaching? maybe applying in IT stuff and totally not using my french degree, should it come down to it. if i had any kind of motivation, i'd do an MBA and go from there. but, yeah, no more school for me. it's terrifying thinking i'm a year from done, but it's even more horrifying that i've spent 5 years in college and still need a year more, considering i had a year cut off my time via CLEP exams.

please tell me why 12 minutes on LJ corresponds to an hour's worth of work on my paper? i totally took 5 hours to write three pages for french. but i've got the equivalent of a page and a half on here. ugh. i hate my life. i hate my brain. i wish it would quit trippin.


i really did have fun this past saturday. i miss people my own age. miss conversations that felt comfortable and inanity. commiseration about the way guys suck and the way people we know are more confusing than strangers. i coulda dealt without "wet butt syndrome" from sitting on the grass to watch the fireworks, but i was happy to have been where i was for the afternoon. have i told you how i feel normal when i'm not here? i feel like i'm not hiding anything, not restricted as to what i can say, comfortable for once. i get that way in people's houses, sitting on their couches and making no decisions. i felt that way the last time i was at faye's, before we went off for sushi and fro yo. or qdoba and fro yo. whichever. felt the same at ariel's, back when she lived downtown. sat on her couch and watched the world pass me by. relaxed for once in my life.

can it be july now? can i have a life, now?



this post is brought to you by the letter 4 and the number 'squishy'. don't forget to spay or neuter your pets! good night, and good luck.
wellownedbkup: (cold)
so it seems that winter has just not left yet. *is freezing* i keep shivering and can't stop.

also, i'm hungry and not having money sucks.

but i guess i should say, more importantly, that i'm procrastinating on papers. i should really be writing right now, but i can't bring myself to do so. it's something about how 13 pages sounds really really long in my head, even if that's the bare minimum between three papers. but still. ugh. i hate writing. i was really spoiled, what with my slacking off for X years in school. *headdesk*

but at least i know what i'm plannning to write... )

so. you know. at least i have a clue the direction i'm headed in.
wellownedbkup: (writer)
now complete. had plans to use a sestina or two, but it was too circular.

i've had enough of pumpin' and blowin' )
wellownedbkup: (see no evil)
i'm awake at yet another random hour to bring you: morgue, on one hour of sleep.


at least i figured out why i need the extra sleep last week and this week, outside of a passing thought of narcolepsy. still need to schedule a test for that, just in case. i'm not sure it's normal to not be able to sleep, then sleep for a full night, and still need a nap between 4 pm and 10 pm. honestly, i'd rather sleep than eat at the moment, and you'd think my parents would consider that a blessing in disguise, but no.

speaking of blessings, though. i got my confirmation pack back about my poland trip. GOT THE TOUR PACK I WANTED. so i'll be in paris for a few days in july, then a drive from berlin into poland and then a few days there before back home. all in all, 11 days. which, you know, not a lot of time. will probably take a coupla unisom or something to put me out on the flight, as i usually wouldn't, but have all my evenings free to wander paris and want the heck out of that, ok? i refuse to waste what precious time i have being jet-lagged.

lacey keeps asking me to lunch. we haven't been "friends" like this since her freshman year of uofl. it's a little... i know i'm being used because she doesn't have anyone to hang with. again. and i'm one of those comfortable types (hey, i know you. we share common history and interests, so we can chat. but we aren't buddies.) that people return to. and maybe that's the definition of a friend, you know? but skepticism and having already been kicked to the curb by her before leaves a bitter taste. not to mention i can't keep skipping class or work to eat $10 lunches with her simply because she's got nothing better to do.

i need to be up in 2 hours to get ready for work.

my poetry class wants us to write about 10 pages of poetry over the next month, including a range of lengths. so we have to write at least one one-liner, one haiku/tanka/haibun, and one poem that spans at least 4 pages. which is daunting. those three are possibly the hardest stylistically, especially for me. the first requires an entire image boiled down to the important bit. the second has a limit on syllables, which also requires a great deal of thought. the last means that, among other things, i have to come up with something that will hold your attention for more than a page.

this is possibly the worst assignment, even outside of his papers. i've decided to take sanpit (my unnamed slave assassin story) and turn it into an epic poem, with movements that will maybe reflect the other styles we should show(? like a monostiche as a movement, a tanka, etc). it's part space opera, part Odyssey, part word vomit. writers spend years hashing out the perfect long poem, and we get a month. the disconnect there is staggering, wouldn't you agree?

i'll say that the high point of this is that i found out the singular form of galoshes *is* galosh. which makes me giggle every time i think about it.
wellownedbkup: (the mouth speaks the heart's abundance)
i don't make new year's resolutions. i don't have the motivation. i will, however, make my goals...

- get at least a C+ in french this spring semester (though i'd prefer anything B- and up)

- lose at least 50 pounds before i go to poland in july

- turn in all homework assignments on time

- clean my room once every two weeks and make sure the laundry is done then

- spend at least one day a week off the computer and video games


they're all achievable, and only reach the half-year mark. they're small, and i can take them one step at a time. they need to be done, yes. but i want to tick them off and say, yes, i achieved what i set out to do.
wellownedbkup: (cleverbad)
school is killing me. i will stop talking about it shortly.

this is just a note to say i'm an idiot. ;) 4 300-levels next semester (more poetry, more french, black psychology, and linguistics), which can only mean i'm gonna have a rough semester. over-ambitious, i'm sure.


i researched two separate things yesterday: living in san francisco, and how to get certified as an interpreter. what i learned was i'll have to make a helluva lot more money to live out there. and that i have to finish college, then have two years of work as an interpreter before i can join some certification associations.

on a brighter note, though, me and my cousin are gonna open a joint checking account so that we can save up for our move in 2010, or our next vacation. we found an international bank that has low fees (as we won't be direct depositing checks so much as automatic transfers of X amount to the account) and banks in 75 countries.

that being said, i'm not terribly fond of her as a traveling partner, but i will say that she's pretty reliable. i need someone with me that makes me feel a little better about myself (which she does, cause even though i'm anti-social, she's worse) and that's enough like me to stop me from getting homesick.


i need to move, though. i keep running through my mind and there's nothing like coming to the realization that everyone else's house is more like home than home. i always feel more relaxed when i'm somewhere other than my house. must mean i need to get away. maybe if i get called up for air traffic control or something... craigslist has jobs up in frisco. maybe i just need to get there and get a job.
wellownedbkup: (lost)
so, i scared myself to death because guess who found some 'mysterious 3 hours' that she didn't know she needed to take? *raises hand* and keeps getting confused about the level of social/behavioral science classes she needs to take? *raises other hand*

SCHOOL IS GOING TO KILL ME.

don't mind me. i've gotta write this down somewhere or i'll go insane... )

god, this hurts my brain. i'd love for this to be simple. i've even done color-coded spreadsheets to work it all out. for all intents and purposes, i'll be ok to graduate in 2010, as (sorta) planned. i still have no clue how i'm going about it, but you know. one does what one must, yeah?

on the bright side, hey! i've done a lot more than i expected. i killed off pretty much anything easy and am now stuck with all my hard classes.
wellownedbkup: (angel skeleton)
well alright. today? i actually did my homework! i am kinda proud of me in that. not that i don't do my homework. cause i do. sometimes. usually. the day of. but more importantly, i accomplished something major. I MEAN MAJOR.

so, in poetry, we have 10 different workshops to write. this one's number eight, and it's supposed to be "wordplay." whatever that means. that is, to say, it's supposed to be puns, spoonerisms, malapropisms, etc. basically you taking on the english language. which i'm cool with, especially after all the trouble i've had learning grammar in french.

i set out to do something completely insane. look up "contronyms" on your google. you'll get a couple of websites about words that have their antonym AS ITSELF. examples include "cleave," which means both to adhere to and to separate from; "left" as in to leave or what remains; "bolt" and "fast" which both have to do with leaving and with standing still. are we clear here? good.

i just wrote an entire poem of contronyms. not only that, but i also used the words in both senses of the word, which technically doesn't count as repetition. not only that, but i also wrote it to look like the letter Y in honor of the word "cleave"... which was the only contronym i could remember when i first set out to do this. why does it look like a Y? because the first half of the poem can be read across the whole line (despite the space in between), but each half of the line can stand on its own. not until it reaches the join do you actually have to read the line straight across. AMBITIOUS, I KNOW.

so. i? did it. it took me most of the afternoon, but it's glorious!

read it here )
wellownedbkup: (Default)
alright. registered for classes! yay!!

that being said. um. SCHOOL. i love love love two year plans.

Fall 08 (current)
SOC 202 Social Problems C+
ENGL 305 Poetry Workshop A
PHYS 107/108 Astronomy and Lab Lab= A Class= B-
FREN 323 Business French C+
Credits: 13

Spring 09 (registered)
FREN 332 France Today B-
ENGL 372 Epigrams & Epics, Fragments & Book-Lengths: Poetry at the Extreme B+
LING 325 Intro to Linguistics
PAS 301 Mental Health in Black America
Credits: 12

Summer 09 (Plan B in Parenthesis)
TA 207 Enjoyment of Theatre
FREN 551 Montpellier Work Exchange {insert other 500 level here, as Poland takes precedence}
HUM 325 Survey of Modern Film and Culture***
Credits: 9

Fall 09 (Plan B in Parenthesis)
ENGL 305 Short Fiction Workshop (HUM 327 Minorities and Movies)
FREN 331 French Civ
FREN 455 Reading in French
HUM 591 Perspectives on Ancient Culture** (FREN 523 Advance Communication Skills)*
Credits: 12

Spring 10 (Plan B in Parenthesis)
FREN 590 Senior Capstone
FREN 524 Theory and Practice of Translation
HUM 326 Studies in Film and Culture (HUM 305 American Culture)
FREN 523 Advance Communication Skills (HUM 591 Perspectives on Ancient Culture**)
Credits: 12 (12)

Total: 122, enough to graduate. YEAH.

Notes:
* i've yet to find out whether my going to Montpellier (which, according to dude over the program, is pretty much in the bag for me) will count as 1, 2 or 3 classes. because, hey, it'll be 552. but the website about the program says it could count for 523 and 524 (instead?). so. either i'll take it as my 500 level elective, and take 523 and 524 later on, or take it as 523/524 and take my elective later on. either way, i've got it made. so the study abroad is 551 and/or 552. i'll still have to take 523 and 524 separately.
** instead of 591, i can take anything between that and 596, all of which discuss cultural perspectives along the stream of time into the future. modern may be best, after all.




all this is really just for my own benefit. to show me that my schedule is MANAGEABLE for the next... well, year and a half.

and thankfully, my french professor this semester? is my professor next semester, and one of the heads over study abroad. so. AWESOME. hopefully i'll get money from the study abroad people, from the modern language fund and be accepted so i can have a month in montpellier, sunning by the mediterranean and working in a french business. SO FREAKING AWESOME. THIS ALMOST BEATS JENSEN-IN-A-KILT *AND* JENSEN-AS-CLEAN!PRIESTLY. ALMOST.

this would mean the fucking world to me, y'all.
wellownedbkup: (Default)
i had a long, drawn out post about how shitty today is/was. i don't feel like posting it anymore.


i accidentally deleted my response for the latest cues thing. because i don't really know if it would've fit (i didn't particularly have 2 separate scenes, so much as 5 glimpses and 1 hard look)... i don't know if i'm going to rewrite it or write something new. besides, it was depressive as heck.



everyone remember WLRS? new rock? yeah, not so much anymore. the walrus has become the home of pseudo new rock, but mostly cock rock. so i get my daily winchester driving dose, but it means i can't sing along to the stuff i know anymore either.
wellownedbkup: (Default)
swiped from angelchildr )
wellownedbkup: (Default)
so, did i mention rizado waved at me yesterday? i'm sitting at lunch with lacey and he walks by, fiddling with some headphones.... so we're still chattingh and when i look again, he's turned and waving. i wave back and bye bye rizado, he walks out of the building.

now, normally, i wouldn't bother mentioning it, but i felt this one deserved it. cause i haven't talked to him for a year. so i miss having classes with him and pomme. they were funny. ALL THE TIME. even if pomme was all annoying questions and all that.... and rizado was the quiet drummer (no one suspects the drummer) who gave smiles and liked good music.

cause... yeah. they're fun.




alas, i'm sick. and tired. sick and tired and coughing and lonely. i'm still waiting to hear from john (jc's no longer mine. apparently he's taken...) and miami (which, even if he isn't mine, ami means friend so he is mi ami[go])... both of which are supposed to be writing me a letter or at least an email.

and i miss my sister-a-country-removed. she's too busy all the time.

all being said, i'm still going to virginia beach this summer. we're in Palacious, which is on the bay/canal end. a block or so from the beach. yay! and it's so pretty! i'll be swimming and fishing and swimming and lounging... screw hanging with family. there's all kinds of stuff too... pool, billiards, foosball, air hockey, and three floors...

i can't wait.

and now... to go back to england for a week or two...

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