wellownedbkup: (existential)
it's funny, all the things you start remembering as you get older. stuff i know i didn't remember before. like how i used to wear cross colours and bonjour and chic jeans. or how i've always had a thing for blonds or black dudes that were friends with me.

there's things like how me and lenore were the bestest of best friends in elementary school and she was an idiot wearing a tank top on a field trip downtown in late fall, so i lent her my sweater and i was standing around in a silk shirt, but it was still awesome. or how the line between hero worship and love is really non-existent in my head, especially after that one student teacher.

there's how hallways stretched long and frightening without a book to read while walking against a crowd of people. or how my mom's current room was the scariest in my house because it was the only one without a light fixture in it. and how, when we shared the room, my brother always took the top bunk. there's how i've always been on the bottom bunk and how, when i was sick, my brother would turn on the tape player to our favorite tape, tuck me in and give me peace and quiet while everyone else ate dinner. how sometimes i think we were closer friends than me and my sister because at least he looked out for me when we were at brandeis together.

but i guess it's less of that and how just yesterday i realized that i've always skated that line. i wore buttondowns over t-shirts and a guy reached up between the two and was trying to feel me up and i didn't even realize it until he'd touched my boob. and it'd been weeks of him laying on me, doing that. he got to second base before ever touching first and i feel... somewhat jilted.

and there's other things too--how i kinda miss high school now like a tangible thing, where i would change what i did for what i know now. because, yes, i would've taken jones' molesting further and my girls would've had to put up with PDAs because i would've let him do almost anything. shameless, yes, but true. i still have a curiosity about a certain piercing. (it didn't even take me getting drunk to tell him that i wish we'd met in some other time, where i wasn't who i was. it took a long ride to cincinnati, i think, and my feet against the car window and nostalgia. and i told him "i wish we'd met in some other time. i think we would've been fantastic." and how he texted back that he was sorry. and how it was sad but made sense, how i still think it passes through us from time to time and how i want to heal that boy's wounds, but know i'm not for him. how he promised me that he'd leave me what he made when he went to the army, and the drunken phone call at 1 in the morning where he promised me he'd be back. and how i haven't seen him since black friday.) or maybe i would've stopped repressing so hard and maybe have told one or two girls that maybe i wasn't so loving of them platonically. (granted, i'm still working that out right now, trying to decide if this is me being lonely, impressionable, or if it really has been there all along. and then whether i should act on it at all, considering the objects of my affection are all straight.)

or i wish i could go back to middle school and actually understand what max was saying to me, instead of just hearing the words and being glad he was talking to me still. savoring sharing eighth grade graduation with the two boys i'd adored as opposed to the girls i called my friends. but, more importantly, going back and actually working out my life's course properly.

these memories are all the paths i've taken, the ones that lead me to today and make me who i am. they're all the paths i wish i could've changed, the ones i wish i'd stayed on longer. if i could turn time backwards, i would go back and fix it. maybe i would've never become solidly insane but loved without high school. smart and honest without the brilliant minds i met in middle school. blunt and careful without the stability of family and faith in elementary school.

i just wish that now didn't seem so pale and lackluster in comparison.
wellownedbkup: (broken hearts)
what do i want for random day? random day being any time in the future...

cash would be nice. hahah. i'm in debt. like... 1800 bucks in debt. how sad.
various digital accessories: laptop, digital camera....
some new icons.
a new name for my lj.
a letter. my god... i just miss being written to.
snow.
chocolate.
a hug.
a day with you.
a life.
a job that pays more than this.
an apartment somewhere else. hey, kate and lacey... think you could let me in on a 3 bedroom?
a tattoo. granted, i won't get that til i move out, but it's on the list.
a coffee.
a date.
a vacation.
wellownedbkup: (god)
Take a look at your LJ friends list, then list up to ten things you want to say to ten different LJ friends... DO NOT state who these people are. DO NOT confirm nor deny any "comment speculation." Then tag five people.

the ell jay cut of DOOM )
wellownedbkup: (geisha)
well, max had them up, so i'd drop mine as well... surveys for you. )
wellownedbkup: (mad here)
Your Extroversion Profile:
Activity Level: Medium
Sociability: Medium
Cheerfulness: Low
Excitement Seeking: Low
Friendliness: Low
Assertiveness: Very Low



maybe lacey was right. despite all, my parents would be proud.
wellownedbkup: (Default)
miami commented on my bebo...

heheh... i've got little english boys jealous over me. hahahah... yay!


in other news... spam from zekkass, music player meme # 48974094293834 )
wellownedbkup: (tender)

I am a colon!
Find your own pose!

spam

Feb. 1st, 2006 02:18 pm
wellownedbkup: (Default)
spam )
wellownedbkup: (mad here)
HASH(0x8c53100)
What Is Your Calling? (Dark And Amazing Pictures!!!)

brought to you by Quizilla

Music Is What You Are Looking For. You wish to hear that someone can relate to you. You have a different view on life than others, and portray your differences whether it be in amber or violet eyes, or just different hair color that nobody seems to expect. You like individuality and like to find it in your music.

Pros: You Are very musical, making your very influencial, and people follow you.

Cons: You can be headstrong, and people dislike that about you. You tend to have mood swings alot too.


1. List ten things you want to say to people but know you never will.
2. Don't say who they are.
3. Disable comments.
4. Never discuss it again.

-fuck you. it's not like we haven't heard it all before.
-grow up or get out. you have no idea what it's like to just take the inch you're given. stop trying to take a mile.
-i love you. don't go through with it.
-i see no problem with having gay friends. if you can't deal with that... that's your problem.
-I LOOK WHITE. GET USED TO IT.
-i don't want to be here.
-i don't want to be there.
-it's never been a question of weight as beauty. in fact... it's the opposite. weight never comes into the question. quit harping on it. maybe i want to stay single for life.
-you don't know me. quit trying to figure me out. don't tell me you know what i'm going through. you don't. you don't have my life.
-i am not like your family. don't label me.
wellownedbkup: (Default)
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:morgue, morghan, riyo... take the pick
Birthday:11-13-85
Birthplace:louisville
Current Location:louisville
Eye Color:brown
Hair Color:black
Height:5 7... if i push reaaaaally hard
Right Handed or Left Handed:right. my left is dead as far as it's concerned
Your Heritage:i'm a summa person. summa this, summa that...
The Shoes You Wore Today:none! ha ha. no shoes yet
Your Weakness:cute blonde boys with blue eyes
Your Fears:among many other things, heights, depths, spiders, falling, etc.
Your Perfect Pizza:pepperoni, jalepeno peppers, onion... cheese...
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:this year being from now until december of next year, lose 100 pounds and go on a date.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:so... what's new?
Thoughts First Waking Up:damn. it's bright
Your Best Physical Feature:my smile. haha.
Your Bedtime:when i get there. it's somewhere around midnight, but last night i didn't go til four am.
Your Most Missed Memory:all?? um... ky kingdom with max, my whole freaking summer this year, and movies with the group on senior walkout. and theatre.
Pepsi or Coke:coke. well, cherry pepsi, diet lime coke.
MacDonalds or Burger King:mc-do. i'm cheap
Single or Group Dates:group. but as long as there's not any kind of secluded kissy-face
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:lipton, i think.
Chocolate or Vanilla:chocolate is god.
Cappuccino or Coffee:mocha. mocha is heavenly. but cappuccino runs a close second
Do you Smoke:no. hallelujah for that.
Do you Swear:hell yeah.
Do you Sing:yep. used to take chorus lessons, but yeah... i sing occasionally
Do you Shower Daily:no comment
Have you Been in Love:i'd like to say so. but i'd like to see what it's like to be in love with someone, not at someone
Do you want to go to College:am in college. there ya go.
Do you want to get Married:maybe... i dunno...
Do you belive in yourself:no.
Do you get Motion Sickness:yeesss...
Do you think you are Attractive:no. but maybe someone somewhere does.
Are you a Health Freak:no. i'm sowmewhat healthy, but not enough.
Do you get along with your Parents:no. yes. sometimes. but not well.
Do you like Thunderstorms:yes. call me a storm chaser.
Do you play an Instrument:yes... sortof. i own a guitar (broken), a piano (too early a learner) and a flute (sorta broken, sorta old. haven't played since elementary school.)
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:no. i need to.
In the past month have you Smoked:no. no smoky here.
In the past month have you been on Drugs:only the legal ones. tylenol... pain killers...
In the past month have you gone on a Date:no, dammit. that needs to be fixed.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:yes. with my brother the mall-hopper
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:no. haven't had any in two months.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:not as i recall.... but i had some nice this summer.
In the past month have you been on Stage:no...
In the past month have you been Dumped:no. no dates, no boyfriend... no dumping.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:hahahahahahha
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:only some alone time.
Ever been Drunk:nope. barely drink.
Ever been called a Tease:not per se. more like... a threat.
Ever been Beaten up:family idea...
Ever Shoplifted:no. not... no...
How do you want to Die:in a blaze of glory. no pain, fairly quick.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:someone not me...
What country would you most like to Visit:france.
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:blue. heheheheh
Favourite Hair Color:blonde... though i'll take what i can get.
Short or Long Hair:both, actually. shorter than mine, but i like a black guy's fade and a white guy's shagginess. so either.
Height:taller than me. i want to lean on his shoulder. so six feet is nice.
Weight:lighter than me right now. i've an affinity for the little ones, but i'm really not picky. ish.
Best Clothing Style:
Number of Drugs I have taken:0
Number of CDs I own:100+
Number of Piercings:2 (ears... how sad.)
Number of Tattoos:0 (but i'm working on that...)
Number of things in my Past I Regret:EVERYTHING... sort of.

CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!


so... am babysitting my cousin. that sucks to high heaven. he's hyper and today is just not the day. i'm so not a parent.
wellownedbkup: (Default)
spam, featuring an itunes meme and a quiz. )
wellownedbkup: (Default)
What makes you attractive? by Eurudite
Name:
Gender:
Age:
Your Eyes:: 80%
Your Smile:: 83%
Your Body:: 95%
Your Wit:: 14%
Your Charm:: 92%
Your Personality:: 16%
What first attracts them:You are a great friend...things often start there.
Why they stay:Your smile keeps them going.
What pushes them away:You are afraid of being too close...
Quiz created with MemeGen!

LiveJournal Haiku!
Your name:wellowned
Your haiku:and my brother will
stay with my mom wrote for me
he even composes
Username:
Created by Grahame


so that was the spam. and this is the truth:

my mom's putting her computer in the shop next week. so i'll be off computer then. her computer is the hub for our internet... so yeah. no net.

um... i have a piano final wednesday. and i have to write letters to the lot of you this week...

um... that's it, i think. will see you when i see you.

(oh, lacey. about that chem studying. i pushed the test off til january, so if we can work out something around our schedules and whatnot, lemme know.)
wellownedbkup: (fake)
*people stare in wonder* is that really morghan?

yes. it is. *they all gasp in horror* what happened to her?

it seems she tuned into a melty puddle after coming from the pool. she sat so long in the air conditioning that she froze. and her parents thought they could thaw her but... you know how it is with the frozen chunks of wet people. they're never the same...


spam, hot off the quizzes )
wellownedbkup: (fairy moon)
am bored. wanna sleep. wanna go home. blech.
spam )
wellownedbkup: (wtf)
How You Are In Love

You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often.

You tend to give more than take in relationships.

You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.

You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.

You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.


omg that is so true

You scored as Get a room! :P. You have great taste, vampires are so sexy!
Click here to become a vampire

</td>

Get a room! :P

75%

You are one of us

50%

You are dead meat

42%

You are his next lunch

33%

You have the talents to become one of us

25%

You are a vamp killer!

17%

You encounter a vampire... what would you do about it?
created with QuizFarm.com


*snerk*

Clickity click...


You scored as Goth.

</td>

Goth

75%

Drama nerd

69%

Loner

69%

Punk/Rebel

56%

Prep/Jock/Cheerleader

38%

Stoner

38%

Geek

19%

Ghetto gangsta

19%

What's Your High School Stereotype?
created with QuizFarm.com


heh

You scored as Rocker, Mosher. Your A Rocker!

</td>

Rocker, Mosher

80%

Goth

65%

Emo

50%

Skater

40%

Prepy

35%

Trendy

30%

Chav, Townie, Rude Boy, Ned, Kev

25%

What Group Are You? Chav, Rocker, Skater, Emo, Goth, Trendy, Prepy E.c.t
created with QuizFarm.com


yay!! not a chav.

You scored as Marius. You are the quiet cool. You are so mellow people are lulled into a false sense of security. When you are pissed god help anyone who crosses you?

</td>

Marius

100%

Dracula

92%

Armand

92%

Spike

75%

Lestat

75%

Louis

67%

Akasha

67%

Angel

58%

Blade

50%

Deacon Frost

33%

Whose your Vampire personality? (images)
created with QuizFarm.com


hah. hahaha.

You scored as Fun. Your fun fun fun! Please rate my quiz!

</td>

Shy

69%

Fun

69%

Nice

56%

Outgoing

56%

Immature

50%

mean

44%

Dramatic

31%

what kind of person are you? (shy,outgoing,fun,mean,immature,dramatic or nice?)
created with QuizFarm.com


though, the difference between shy and fun was how much i talk versus i'd rather do something fun than be in school. hmmm... i'm both.

You scored as Sci-fi nerd. You are a Sci-fi nerd. You stay at home indoors for entire weekends watching Doctor Who marathons and have seen every Star Wars movie over twenty times. Live long and prosper is your life mantra and you believe in life in space.

</td>

Sci-fi nerd

65%

Mathlete

55%

Computer Geek

50%

Nerd

50%

Gamer

25%

What type of nerd are you?
created with QuizFarm.com


how true.

You scored as NO!. No, now go get a life psycho-stop taking quizzes. Go be normal, because if you're not, you're going to end up needing psychological help.

</td>

NO!

94%

Not Really

69%

Yes Indeedy

31%

Consider Getting Help

31%

To us, yes!

25%

Should you get psychological help?
created with QuizFarm.com


wtf?

You scored as I'm Not Okay (i promise). you scored as "I'm Not Okay (i promise)"

</td>

I'm Not Okay (i promise)

80%

Helena

75%

The Ghost Of You

75%

You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison

50%

What My Chemical Romance Song Best Describes You???
created with QuizFarm.com


i'm ok now! i'm ok now!

You scored as Piranha Person. You are the Piranha Person.
Your bite is just as bad as your bark.
You get off on pain and food, and sometimes your wit is slower than your judgemental attitude.

</td>

Squirt

70%

Piranha Person

70%

Captain Obvious

60%

The Pyromaniac

55%

Spike

55%

The Fabulous Freeze

50%

The Narrator

50%

Lady Luck

45%

What is your Deranged Super Person Persona?
created with QuizFarm.com


ok. i'd be squirt if i'd clicked perfectionist rather than sexually frustrated. wow.

You scored as Passionate. You are the Passionate side of the Phantom (Erik). You believe love is not full without passion, and you enjoy it when others put passion amount yourself. You take love seriously and deeply, no other thoughts shall over come your passion.

</td>

Musical

100%

Passionate

100%

Lonely

83%

Wildness

67%

Hatred

67%

Powerful

50%

Intelligent

50%

What kind of Phantom are you?
created with QuizFarm.com


musical and passionate?? wow.

You scored as A Too Lazy Faerie. You hate being active, and thats the way you like it. Waited on and totally pampered, looking beautiful without the effort. You like to watch the world circle around you and you're great for a long chat or long snooze. You prefer a more slow and peaceful way of living, but remember a little bit of exercise is good for your health, giving you more life for luxury ;-)


See All Results/Comment



</td>

A Too Lazy Faerie

75%

A Too Depressed Faerie

70%

A Too Astral Faerie

60%

A Too Evil Faerie

55%

A Too Sweet Faerie

55%

A Too Serious Faerie

55%

A Too Kinky Faerie

40%

A Too Sporty Faerie

35%

A Too Silly Faerie

15%

Which Dysfunctional Faerie are You?
created with QuizFarm.com


*gigglesnerk*
wellownedbkup: (Default)
Top Commenters on [livejournal.com profile] wellowned's LiveJournal
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