on the plus side, at least having spent all my money today on gym clothes and pretty sweaters means that i won't have the cash to spend tomorrow on unhealthy breakfast options.

grr. i really want a hash brown now. mostly because the spinach dip and celery sticks i had for dinner?? weren't very filling. :( *sigh* to make hummus tomorrow. and then tuesday evening to go shopping for cheese (brie, anyone??), packable snackables, and maybe a thermos so i can have life sustaining tea or soup on the go. i already know how to be an unhealthy vegetarian.... now to try healthy options on the whole. may have to buy a big box o' peanuts to snack on, and string cheese. and fruits. (what're low sugar fruits again? cause i'm sure that mango and pineapple ain't, but they're my favorites.) back to what i was doing in may!! which was string cheese, yogurt, apples. i thought i had something bread/crunchy... like pretzels, but that's not it. maybe peanut butter crackers?? i thought i'd cut out bread-y foods at that point, but i don't remember now. all i know is that i spent money on pop every morning that whole month because Black Women in the Media was 3 hours long and snacks *had* to happen or i'd've been asleep.

i commend anyone that's making food changes. here i was thinking it'd be easy. then my dad throws a basketball viewing family only party with more food than i could shake a stick at, but none of it vegetarian. and i've gotten in trouble before about turning my nose up at the meal that was cooked and making my own something. so. yeah. also that day i had a really bad day and ate pizza?? what, friday?? oh. god. TERRIBLE IDEA. i mean, the pizza was good. but after one piece, i was sick. guess i'd been doing something right if the grease made my tummy go into revolt.

i know i said i was considering it. not you know... terribly well, but considering it.

so last night, i was looking over financial aid and whatnot, considering that now i'm back in good standing. so i won't get KEES money anymore. i took too long and it runs out 8 semesters after high school.... (way to get your grades up too late for that, bud) and then i started seeing a whole bunch of other stuff. TEACH grants, minority teacher recruitment, etc. all for teaching in underprivileged schools in high-need fields.

so i check. yep. french is a high need field.

and, yes, JCPS is a low income school system. SCORE. i ain't even gotta move. (well, i want to, but i don't have to.)

not to mention they have alt.certification for folks who go in and work in the school system where there's a need, and then still go for their teaching certification. so not only will i be working in the school system i grew up in, i'll be working in a high-need field, helping kids who grew up poor like me as church mice.

my only downfalls are the following:

• i hate homework. if i become a teacher, it'll be nothing but homework. not to mention the 2+ years of grad school that will be just as full of homework.


• i hate waking up early. and whaddya know? school is nothing *but* waking up early. ugh. if i had a car, less trouble, but still. i took off the second day of school simply because my body couldn't take two days in a row of early call. imagine having to do so because i got paid to do so.


• two more years of school. i could go and do something in those two years. like be a better christian. fall in love. travel the world. something. anything.


• not to mention the money.

yeah. so that may be the reason i don't do that. but goodness. you know what i mean? there's opportunity in the wings, y'all.

i'm awake at yet another random hour to bring you: morgue, on one hour of sleep.


at least i figured out why i need the extra sleep last week and this week, outside of a passing thought of narcolepsy. still need to schedule a test for that, just in case. i'm not sure it's normal to not be able to sleep, then sleep for a full night, and still need a nap between 4 pm and 10 pm. honestly, i'd rather sleep than eat at the moment, and you'd think my parents would consider that a blessing in disguise, but no.

speaking of blessings, though. i got my confirmation pack back about my poland trip. GOT THE TOUR PACK I WANTED. so i'll be in paris for a few days in july, then a drive from berlin into poland and then a few days there before back home. all in all, 11 days. which, you know, not a lot of time. will probably take a coupla unisom or something to put me out on the flight, as i usually wouldn't, but have all my evenings free to wander paris and want the heck out of that, ok? i refuse to waste what precious time i have being jet-lagged.

lacey keeps asking me to lunch. we haven't been "friends" like this since her freshman year of uofl. it's a little... i know i'm being used because she doesn't have anyone to hang with. again. and i'm one of those comfortable types (hey, i know you. we share common history and interests, so we can chat. but we aren't buddies.) that people return to. and maybe that's the definition of a friend, you know? but skepticism and having already been kicked to the curb by her before leaves a bitter taste. not to mention i can't keep skipping class or work to eat $10 lunches with her simply because she's got nothing better to do.

i need to be up in 2 hours to get ready for work.

my poetry class wants us to write about 10 pages of poetry over the next month, including a range of lengths. so we have to write at least one one-liner, one haiku/tanka/haibun, and one poem that spans at least 4 pages. which is daunting. those three are possibly the hardest stylistically, especially for me. the first requires an entire image boiled down to the important bit. the second has a limit on syllables, which also requires a great deal of thought. the last means that, among other things, i have to come up with something that will hold your attention for more than a page.

this is possibly the worst assignment, even outside of his papers. i've decided to take sanpit (my unnamed slave assassin story) and turn it into an epic poem, with movements that will maybe reflect the other styles we should show(? like a monostiche as a movement, a tanka, etc). it's part space opera, part Odyssey, part word vomit. writers spend years hashing out the perfect long poem, and we get a month. the disconnect there is staggering, wouldn't you agree?

i'll say that the high point of this is that i found out the singular form of galoshes *is* galosh. which makes me giggle every time i think about it.

school is killing me. i will stop talking about it shortly.

this is just a note to say i'm an idiot. ;) 4 300-levels next semester (more poetry, more french, black psychology, and linguistics), which can only mean i'm gonna have a rough semester. over-ambitious, i'm sure.


i researched two separate things yesterday: living in san francisco, and how to get certified as an interpreter. what i learned was i'll have to make a helluva lot more money to live out there. and that i have to finish college, then have two years of work as an interpreter before i can join some certification associations.

on a brighter note, though, me and my cousin are gonna open a joint checking account so that we can save up for our move in 2010, or our next vacation. we found an international bank that has low fees (as we won't be direct depositing checks so much as automatic transfers of X amount to the account) and banks in 75 countries.

that being said, i'm not terribly fond of her as a traveling partner, but i will say that she's pretty reliable. i need someone with me that makes me feel a little better about myself (which she does, cause even though i'm anti-social, she's worse) and that's enough like me to stop me from getting homesick.


i need to move, though. i keep running through my mind and there's nothing like coming to the realization that everyone else's house is more like home than home. i always feel more relaxed when i'm somewhere other than my house. must mean i need to get away. maybe if i get called up for air traffic control or something... craigslist has jobs up in frisco. maybe i just need to get there and get a job.

so, in other news, i haven't told y'all what i'm doing about my weight in a while. by which, i'm really saying that i haven't talked about losing weight lately, have i?

anyway.

so, a few months ago, my mom saw this thing called the ( 6 Week Body Makeover ).

so. she got the program, we've looked it over and started buying the food so that we can get on the right track. we started on tuesday after weighing in monday evening. and it's been less than a week, but here's what's happened thus far:

( Start Weight: 301 lbs )

yeah. 10 lbs down, without the exercise. *does a dance*

and you know what's messed up? i'm eating 5 or 6 times a day, and i'm not hungry. ok, i'll admit, i kinda get the shakes every now and again because i'll have breakfast and elevenses and lunch, but then i'll have class and can't have after-school snack because dinner happens at 6ish. so stuff's getting smushed together weird.

also messed up? i'm not exercising like i should be doing. i'm doing a lot of walking right now that i wasn't back when i was driving more often (ugh, catching TARC SUCKS SO BAD), which is a good thing. but i'm really more interested in working on the lack of muscle tone i have underneath this cushy exterior. muscles burn more calories, right? gad, i need to be back at ups for this week or something. serious.


so. WHEE. maybe the next time y'all see me? i'll be half the girl i used to be. :)

[heh. pictures may follow, once i notice a real difference that isn't "hey, i can't see my stomach over my boobs like i used to!"]

i think now's as good a time as any to get my month in order (that is, the end of this month and all of september).

so. here's where i ( cut to a different scene. )

ow.

my tummy hurts. damn diabetic meds!!!! *shakes fist*


in other news, my andy emailed me. and i emailed back. and i went out with balthus today. i even looked cute. yay! however... i need pants. now. gah. i hate sitting at an open desk while wearing a skirt. it doesn't matter if no one's sitting in front of me. it's just... modesty. that's it.


my mom called me a southern girl today. i think she's right.



9 pm showing of X3 today!! yay for brothers!!!!!!!!!!!!!



that being said, it's EXTRA melty outside today. ack.

i updated drowning!Ophelia. lots of old stuff that was on shadows_of before that i needed to move. and the rest is fairly new.

i'm in extreme pain right now. my back. a splinter in my foot. but mostly my back. from bra to undies, all the way to my sides. yep. knotted tight and unable to move. and it hurts to sit, stand, lie down, get up, laugh, walk, breathe, shrug... ya know. the usual stuff.

my mum's headed back to work tomorrow. thank god. but if you're in louisville this week, i may give you a call and see if you want to go to lunch with me. my sister's trying to go with her friends. i'd like to go with mine. i'm just pissed i didn't get to see ariel and catherine (as much as i'd love to see her) is looking like a no-go too. that pisses me off. and faye! i wanna see her too! *grumbles at the parents*

new year's here and boom! so is teh dieting. however, i'm keeping it up this time. i'm planning to wear a cute swimsuit when i go to virginia beach this summer. and you know going to england as well.

oh. i didn't say that, did i? um... my gramma says "morghan, you need to go to england every summer. i'll pay." i say... *jaw drop*. she says... "you need a vacation. just a couple of weeks." i say... *is speechless... she says "plus, it's a good way to get your andy." i say... "MAMA I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA!"

so, late summer. like, july-ish. two weeks. relaxing. seeing miami. and i'll be cute and he'll be all like woah when did you get cute? and i'll be all i was always cute didn't you look? and he'll be all like *drool* and i'll be happy.

but my back is really hurting right now.