(no subject)

*sigh* what way to wake up in the morning. *shakes head* too many arguments, too many offended. too much like what happened before.

because this is exactly what happened before. one attacks. one defends (or a bunch defend). suddenly, no one's friends anymore.

ah well... it had to happen, didn't it?


anyway...
Hi. My name is Morghan. I'm at work. I'm supposed to be doing work. I'm avoiding. Go me! And I'm still here.

i feel bad. my diet... went down the tube. i broke it yesterday. we went out to lunch and suddenly i'm eating breaded food. and taco shells. and dinner was a joke. so much for no junk.

i think they might just be sabotaging me.


ummmm... i'm tired. of... *gestures vaguely* all this.

dad told me that i should get out of the JW community i joined. so, my other journal is going to die a miserable death. he still doesn't know about this one and i intend to keep it that way. he said it's too dangerous. which is probably true. you don't know who's who on the net. not unless they're really telling you the truth. that's why my friends tend to be... the people i know. and a few who are nifty looking.


maybe i'm the bad guy your parents told you to watch out for.


dani, my email has died during work hours. if we can, we'll log at lunch then, eh? just wait til i get my laptop with wireless internet!! then i'll AIM you and we'll call it a day.

lunch is still on. be there (fourth street live) at 1:15 or earlier. i gotta pick up some money, but other than that, i should be doing fine. meet me up on the second floor, by the glass doors to the food court. faye may possibly be coming. if you want her to, you talk to her. i'm a tad on the busy end the next couple of days.


i hate being right. it's just means that everything is really gonna go downhill.

i'm going to king's island this saturday. it should be funish. but i'm just going for the glass blowing shop and maybe to see if they sell parasols. because i would definitely get a parasol. and i'm gonna ride delerium. because that's fun. and i shouldn't be too fat for it. (fat dominates my mind. ugh.)


i'm tired of all of this. i'm gonna have to get myself together. this is no fun.

(no subject)

as if
>>>>>a simple innuendo
>>>>>>in the silence>>>>>encoiled with irony
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>or
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>the mystery
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>hurled
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>howled
>>into an approaching>>>>>>whirlwind of hilarity and horror
>>>>>>>hovers>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>over the abyss
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>neither scattering it
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>nor fleeing
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>and rocks therein the virgin symbol
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>as if

(no subject)

McDonalds has a new menu. did you have any idea about that? they have like... a turkey blt, and a buffalo chicken sandwich and a whole bunch of REAL FOOD MEALS that scares me. it's like... faking itself into a deli.

it was good!! i just finished lunch. a coke, some fries and a turkey blt on a toasted sub bun that is sooooooo much better than quiznos. and penn station. and subway because it didn't have that wrapped in cellophane taste to it. it tasted... good.

and, of course, fattening. i didn't need the fries. i'm so close to diabetic i didn't need the real coke. but who am i to complain? it got bought for me!! whoo!


ok. you all really did want to hear about my lunch. believe me.

i'm thinking of rewriting my EDEN story that i started junior/sophomore/junior year. the whole too-carpathian-for-words, reading-aloud-the-kama-sutra-in-less-than-ten-pages, scare-mr.-martin sci fi story i wrote. this time, little to no smut. and... the ages change from that dramatically underage fic. and... less carpathian. no blood sucking (that wasn't in there, but the telepathy and the unnatural speed and the age factor...), etc.

and maybe it'll turn out good. i gave myself a very good summary, beginning chapter.

Something bleak was welling up inside her. Something that gnawed at her heart and made her feel emptier everyday. She thought it was just nostalgia... until she saw him. And, just as quickly, he disappeared.
~What? Dis-Apparate or something?~ she thought crossly.
~Hardly.~
She jumped in her seat, her pen clattering unheeded to the ground. That voice...

good?? bad? ugly?

i keep telling myself i should follow ariel's advice. define the world. define the people in the world. only, it's always way too close to home. i'd really suggest faye also do illustrators of the future... three fantastical pics that i really can't do.

but... still. maybe it'll work out this time. i'm having thoughts in the worst places. (not. like. that.) i'll be at church and suddenly i'll get a flash of inspiration and i dash off to the bathroom to write it down because my mommy throws fits when she sees me doing something other than paying attention. and normally it's just a sentence or two, though... once i had an entire three page log with all my characters. with my grandmother sitting only four feet away.

but, yeah. the writer is coming back with a vengeance. all because i'll be gone from work and i actually have work to do but i'm still avoiding it.

(no subject)

this is what i get for being right.
this is what i get for having a big mouth.
this is what i get for being just slightly less than tactful. more than slightly.
this is what i get for knowing that it would eventually turn out this way.
this is what i get for knowing that one mutual friend does not a group make.
this is what i get for treading on thin ice.
this is what i get.

this is what happens when friends are under stress.
this is what happens when love isn't what it seems.
this is what happens when manipulation becomes key.
this is what happens when you have a public journal.
this is what happens, though you try your hardest for it not to.
this is what happens when no one is strong enough.
this is what happens.

this is how you know we can't be friends forever.
this is how you know that some things weren't meant to be.
this is how you know you were right all along.
this is how you know things will never be the same.
this is how you know, though you've tried to blind yourself.
this is how you know, how you feel it in your bones, that something was bound to go wrong.
this is how you know.

this is when you worry that the pain will never heal.
this is when you worry that you'll lose all you've loved.
this is when you worry that you've done everything wrong.
this is when you worry, and you can't control the feeling.
this is when you worry that maybe the time has come to say goodbye.
this is when you worry.

this... this is the time to build up.
this is the time to apologize fight back.
this is the time to tear down the past.
this is the time to explore the world we've built for ourselves.
this is the time to know yourself.
this is the time to break free from what you were.
this is the time. there is no other.
this is the time.