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clearly, i'm not over him. he's too present. i hate him for that. i won't rehash The Breakup That Wasn't. it boils down to 3 years of my life where i assumed i was talking exclusively to a guy, only to find he didn't see me the same way. and then, for two people who weren't dating, we had a nasty breakup where he doesn't talk to me anymore, his friends are no longer my friends, and i'm bitter.
ugh. i hate memories. summertime's the worst.
either that, or insomnia. i have the a/c on tonight (thankfully) and i should be comfortably asleep. except for how it's rolled past 5 am and i haven't been to sleep yet. no reason for it, either. no pepsi max to blame it on, though i could probably blame it on sleeping in this morning. bad idea, apparently. even if i was unintentionally trying to make up for last night's adventures in insomnia. i really, really hate summertime.
i think maybe i'm just upset that i was trying to diet, and there's suddenly no food in the house to take for lunch, and everyone's too broke to get something at the store. or out. or whatever. i just blew my private savings trying to keep the house afloat. i can't pay any more money out, but i also have nothing to eat until i get paid on thursday. GOD I HATE SUMMERTIME.
i just really really need someone to take away this empty feeling i've got going on. i feel like such a failure for having no money saved up and no car and nothing to show for myself but a crap laptop that always loses its internet connection, a broken ipod and a broken camera. clearly technology hates me. i mean, what do i have? i'm vacillating about printing life @ 23 through Wild Rose Press, but i'm wary of vanity-type publishers. i don't do marketing. and my website died. :( which was probably a good thing. i spent a bunch of time on it for no good reason.
i need a sandbox to play in for creating a new website.
i still need to get away. this july will be nice, if i ever can muster up the cash. but honestly? i'm holding out for next year. hopefully spend the summer rusticating. i didn't have any stress at the time, so that was awesome. but you know, not terribly conducive to anything to spend 15 hours or more asleep cause there's nothing to do. best ideas for writing then, of course, but also, again, not conducive to RL.
speaking of RL, apparently i should be a writer. who knew? *quietly raises hand* i mean, deadlines aren't my forte, but as my little sister tells me, i don't prioritize. which, trufax. even now, i have several things to do and none of them done. all needing to be done ASAP. not to mention all that crap i have on my hard drive, just waiting for me to get a writing notion in my head.
i've finally hit tired, with only an hour and a half left before i need to wake up. oh, this is all bad.
will y'all tell me when i get on your nerves?x
ugh. i hate memories. summertime's the worst.
either that, or insomnia. i have the a/c on tonight (thankfully) and i should be comfortably asleep. except for how it's rolled past 5 am and i haven't been to sleep yet. no reason for it, either. no pepsi max to blame it on, though i could probably blame it on sleeping in this morning. bad idea, apparently. even if i was unintentionally trying to make up for last night's adventures in insomnia. i really, really hate summertime.
i think maybe i'm just upset that i was trying to diet, and there's suddenly no food in the house to take for lunch, and everyone's too broke to get something at the store. or out. or whatever. i just blew my private savings trying to keep the house afloat. i can't pay any more money out, but i also have nothing to eat until i get paid on thursday. GOD I HATE SUMMERTIME.
i just really really need someone to take away this empty feeling i've got going on. i feel like such a failure for having no money saved up and no car and nothing to show for myself but a crap laptop that always loses its internet connection, a broken ipod and a broken camera. clearly technology hates me. i mean, what do i have? i'm vacillating about printing life @ 23 through Wild Rose Press, but i'm wary of vanity-type publishers. i don't do marketing. and my website died. :( which was probably a good thing. i spent a bunch of time on it for no good reason.
i need a sandbox to play in for creating a new website.
i still need to get away. this july will be nice, if i ever can muster up the cash. but honestly? i'm holding out for next year. hopefully spend the summer rusticating. i didn't have any stress at the time, so that was awesome. but you know, not terribly conducive to anything to spend 15 hours or more asleep cause there's nothing to do. best ideas for writing then, of course, but also, again, not conducive to RL.
speaking of RL, apparently i should be a writer. who knew? *quietly raises hand* i mean, deadlines aren't my forte, but as my little sister tells me, i don't prioritize. which, trufax. even now, i have several things to do and none of them done. all needing to be done ASAP. not to mention all that crap i have on my hard drive, just waiting for me to get a writing notion in my head.
i've finally hit tired, with only an hour and a half left before i need to wake up. oh, this is all bad.
will y'all tell me when i get on your nerves?x
