(no subject)

i'm all bluster.

on the one hand, i want there to be men out there who, after having been friends with me, look at their wives and rue the day that they didn't talk to me. i want them to wish they'd had the balls to talk seriously to me and maybe see that i'm made of awesome.

on the other hand, it freaks me the hell out when guys actually talk to me. so while i stand there and they flirt (sorta) at me, i blush and stammer and say mean things that don't actually mean much because it's just.... i don't have much faith in myself so i'm always surprised when someone thinks i'm awesome.


yeah. bluster. like those guys who're all macho and whatnot when they're really just pussies?? that's me, femininely.