Poetry Series (Sleep): Long Poem

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Piratical Fancy

I. With cat-like tred, upon our prey we steal
Far out beyond their native shore
Sailed the great Titania of yore,
Fighting her nemesis, all the Todd’s Boys
Aboard the Devo with all their whip toys.
Todd was their leader, two-faced and pale.
Next, there was Dan, who walked the sails.
The wenches were Ashley, Tanya and Black
(But, if they were female… it wasn’t a fact!).
Mike stood sly and grim upon the deck,
His flipped-up collar swallowing his neck.
Matt was the lookout, scanning for pubs,
Mimicking roosters and stealing golf clubs.

Our Captain cried out, “Attack! Attack!”
The Parrot squawked from atop the Wench’s back,
Chattering something about sails cut to the floors
Ill at ease, she cried out: “Out with the oars!”
The crew, with alarm, all scrambled down below
Setting themselves to rowing, but they were slow.
The Devo began to get farther away
While all could hear the Captain say:
“Faster! Faster! Todd must be stopped!”
And, untying the sails, the Rigger hopped
Up the ropes. Without fail, their sails were flying.
“Aye!” cried the Captain. “Soon they’ll be dying!”

The boat caught a zephyr and head in haste
To those pop culture rejects (pure oxygen’s waste).
Faster, the Titania closed on its prey,
Those bad 80s pop players weren’t getting away.
The ship pulled up beside the Devo, manic
Anger on its mind. The crew of Devo began to panic.
The wenches, they scrambled; the leader, he roared.
(His mates stood around, looking thick as a board.)
They loaded up cannons and made their helm strong.
But all they were armed with were whistles and songs.

“Avast!” moaned the Captain. “Not even in key!”
The Wench laughed. “Not everyone’s as lucky as we.”
For some direction, she called to the heights with care,
Giving authority to her imperious stare.
The Lookout peered over the edge with a squeak.
(Because of fright, her knees were weak.)
“Tell us which way their cannons are showing!”
The Lookout fainted, her fear overflowing.
The Parrot flew up. “Shift hard to port!”

His collar still growing as he held court,
Mike shouted for all those down below,
(He snickered) “Let the cannons blow!”
They sounded off with a big thunderclap,
Ready to blow the Titania off the map,
Still singing the song Cap’n Todd had wrote.
(Perhaps the hot air was what kept them afloat!)

II. When the foeman bares his steel
The cannonball landed and felled a Titanian mast.
The Devo laughed (for who could survive such a blast?)
But the three master, minus the one that fell,
Sailed stronger than any story could tell.
The Lookout scurried down from her lofty perch
Even as the sturdy ship began to pitch and lurch.
And the Captain called out to our own Powder Monkey
To aim at each and every flunky
Aboard the Devo and blast them all
To Hell and back (if correctly, I recall).
“Aye Captain,” said the spunky Cannoneer
And whooped for the Navigator with cheer.

Mike’s guile and conniving set to guide the boat.
With all that stealth, Todd couldn’t help but gloat.
“They’ll never know. We’ll come from behind.”
Cocksure, failing was far from his mind.
“Yo Matt, tell us when we get close.
And we’ll tie us together… post to post.”
They pulled alongside with all the sneak they could muster.
Their victory was as sure as General Custer
When he fought that battle against Sitting Bull—
Of their exploits and selves, they were quite full.
The wenches climbed up ladders with callused hands
Ready to do battle with the honorable pirate band.

Watching silently for the nefarious crew, the First Mate,
Kept eyes steady, the crew ready, from behind a large crate,
Stance calm and patience a studied ease,
Knowing the Todd’s Boys were naught but fleas.
The Devo’s crew leapt aboard the readied ship,
Each boy brandishing a red hat and whip.
They were soon caught in deadly combat,
Each crew trying to knock the other flat.
There could only be one winner in this deadly duel.
We would soon know who’d play the fool.

The brilliant Navigator, with her dynamic wit,
Ripped to shreds a few of those silly twits.
Calculated and stealthy, she made her attacks.
Soon, the bodies began to pile up in stacks.
Likewise was the battle with the Cannoneer,
Pistols blazing and grinning from ear to ear.
She felled two wenches in a single shot.
But there was a deadlier sort of plot…

The Saucy Wench, with the Parrot at her side,
Searched up and down for where enemies could hide,
Ready to do battle with a Devo fool.
Chortling, “I’ll send him back to school!”
Matt lurked around a corner. In his hands, a golf club.
He smirked and flicked away a cigarette stub,
Tightening his grip to bash in her head.
If it weren’t for the Parrot, the Wench would be dead.
With his advice playing around her brain,
The Saucy Wench left the deck’s main,
Knowing better the layout of the pirate ship,
And, over a rail, caused Matt to trip.

The Captain and the First Mate held the rest at bay,
Weakening the Devo in this one-sided fray.
The Captain held her saber to Cap’n Todd’s neck.
“Get off my ship, you worthless speck.
And never come back, if you value your life.”
The Rigger led him off at the point of a knife.
And, as they cleaned up in the aftermath,
They would see who had the last laugh.
For, though they would search both high and low,
Where the Lookout was… no one would know.

The bewildered Cook pointed off ship
To the boat, the boys with the whip.
The Captain vowed she would, at last, have her
Revenge. From this path, she would not stir.

III. All is prepar’d; your gallant crew await you
Now, to Tortuga the Titania sailed.
At the town, they were hailed
By the sweet Rosie, a fellow wench.
And on hearing the news, her breath did hitch.
For our dear Lookout was now trapped
By the evil Devo Boys. Thus, the crew mapped
Out where the ship could be hiding
That they could find it and commence fighting.
“I’m coming with you!” Rosie stated.
“She was my friend, and I know that it’s fated
That she will be saved, there’s no other way!”
So Rosie became part of the crew that day.

Over dinner and ale, they did talk
Of rescue missions and how Todd would walk
The plank when they found his boat,
Taking their bets to see if he would float.
On the Titania, the Captain called
For a meeting, and with finality drawled:
“Today, we’ll destroy them once and for all.
To be sure, Todd and his crew will soon fall.
Our Lookout will be safe and with us again.
Now we fight for our ship and we fight for our friend!”

Cheers rang out, now that their scheme had been cooked.
The Rigger and the Mate and the Navigator looked
Grim as did the Wench and her Parrot
While Rosie lounged, munching on a carrot.
The Wench found her behavior rather odd,
But was distracted by the talk of Todd.

IV. Poor wand’ring one
The Lookout, by divine Fate’s short hand,
Was bound and gagged by the evil band
Of Todd’s own ugly and pernicious few,
Bumbling through piracy without having a clue.
Todd gave one of many chilling laughs.
“At last! We have one in our grasp!
You won’t get away, that’s for sure.”
He laughed. “And maybe even less than pure.”
She flinched, cause who could possibly
Be uglier than the Todd’s Boys she could see?

She mumbled something through the greasy gag,
Words dropping like the sails that began to lag
In the waning sunlight and halting breeze.
Groaning, they let the handkerchief ease
(Cause they thought that once they had her there,
Her fear would her much overbear
And she would tell of the secret treasure
The Devo had hunted since… forever.)

Her jaw was stiff, but she worked it out.
“Piss off,” she said, “cause I really doubt
You have the stuff to violate me.”
They pulled tight the gag, and she glared evilly.
“Maybe not,” said Todd, with a wink.
“But your friends are not as safe as they think.
I have a spy aboard their ship.”
Then, storming out with his whip,
The Lookout was left to ponder
What would happen to the crew out yonder.

V. Hold, monsters
Meanwhile, the Captain led the search;
Across seas, the ship did pitch and lurch
A search beyond the oceans far and wide,
With First Mate and crew at her side.
“Ahoy,” cried the Parrot, perched on the mast.
“We’re closing in. Astern! Avast!”
Sure enough, the Devo sailed
Just ahead. The Captain hailed
Mike, who stood upon the deck,
His collar swallowing his neck.
“Surrender now!” she cried aloud.
Behind her stood her faithful crowd,
Ready to get their Lookout back.

Todd appeared upon the Devo deck,
Cocky swagger in his hips,
Ghost of a smirk upon his lips.
Suddenly, with a crazed yell,
Rosie jumped at the Wench and she fell
Overboard into the murky depths.
Rosie laughed, short of breath.
But, then the Parrot attacked her face,
And soon she ran about the place,
Screaming, trying to get away.
The Rigger grabbed her and sent her to stay
In the brig, while the Wench floundered
Unable to swim. The Captain bounded
Over ship’s rails after her, diving at last.
The Wench was sinking pretty fast.
Rescuing her and swimming back to the ship.

The Devo boys, cracking their whips
In the air right near the Lookout
And laughing when she flinched about.
She murmured something so they could hear,
And, in their effervescent cheer,
Pulled off her gag as they chuckled along.
But they were flabbergasted at the familiar song.
The lyrics, of course, were not the same,
And if they could remember them, they'd have great fame.
The Lookout's voice was clear and loud,
The notes stealing power from the Devo crowd.

And, magically, the Titania began to heal,
And all their glory was revealed.
The Captain stood in magnificent clothes
While her natural authority overflowed.
The same was found, pleasantly true
For the rest of Titania's crew.
Devo's crew stared with their jaws swinging.
(Only by a few nerves were they clinging.)

"Release my Lookout, sirs, or, by God you will
Face my wrath. I've had my fill
Of your nonsense," the Captain spat,
The sun gleaming on the blade's flat.
Captain Todd, still under the song's spell
Released the Lookout... and apologized as well!
He surrendered with some version of grace
And agreed to never show his face
On any shore the Titania patrolled.

And that's the way their story was told:
Full of fire, adventure, and with such power,
That all who opposed was made to cower
Before the mighty Titania and her crew.
Their exploits are many. Their losses are few.
Their fame shall live on, though they will not,
Always fighting their enemies and never caught.