Omens and Masochism

[wellownedbkup]

If I don’t have scars tomorrow, I’ll be surprised. Was trying not to scratch my nervous itch. Why did I have to be agitated over a scholarship that was due at midnight tonight? Therefore, I dug my nails into my arm… repeatedly. Left godawful marks. Strangely enough… wart to have marks. Wanted to feel pain.

And the thing is, what I was so worried about, isn’t even going in for a while. Dad was pissed at me for not turning it in earlier. Is it my fault we have no black ink… and they don’t want it emailed… and I’m broke… and Brian didn’t read it until 10:15? Doesn’t bother me… much.

Speaking of marks… I was playing softball the other day… got scars all over the place. I was catcher and was getting beat up by the ball. Fiercely. Once, it knocked my watch. Scraped up my wrist. Was bleeding nastily in the shape of a cross. If I believed in omens…

Comments

[astaria51.livejournal.com]

Again, hoping I'm not replying to something that you wanted to keep private.

But I know how you feel. Exactly.

*pets your arm* Take care of yourself, Morghan. I'm allowed to tell you this because I do this too. And you're allowed to tell me this. Just...be well. As long as you're not really hurt, not really hurtING too bad...things are okay. I know what it's like to need to feel something hard.

Just -- if you find yourself doing it a lot. Try telling yourself to stop. Because it can get addictive, it can get worse than fingernails. And if you really *tell* yourself "No, I don't really need this, it's bad for me," stuff like that, it sometimes helps.

If it's just sometimes I guess that's okay.
Just don't want you hurt. *hugs*

Ack, I've got to go. *huggggles* I know what's going on, and it's not strange. At least I hope it's not strange, because if so we're both strange strange children.

Don't wear watches playing softball, silly girl.

Don't angst. Smiles look so much better on you. *hugs* I'm tracking down ScottandAsh. To make you smile.

faigler