(no subject)

i'm kinda sick of my grandmother.

we live in her house, you know? just... the same living arrangement as i've always had. and it works, most of the time.

i just... i'm so *sick* of her. i don't think she was always this pedantic about everything. it's like nothing i do is right. i've had pretty much zero time to myself in the past 5 months. i've had school, work, taking care of mom and still trying to keep myself mentally balanced. today? i did everything i was supposed to do, and some. and still got some kind of guilt trip over not doing the dishes.

the hell, you say. my brother? spent more time at home than me today, and did precisely a fifth of what i did. cook? me. clean? me. play video games? him. and i'm the one who's ungrateful and lazy?

if this is what i'm gonna have to put up with, she can keep her thousand. i'll blow off poland and try the next go-round.


i'm sorry. i'm just tired. i've got a lot on my mind and i wonder if i can even manage to make it through these next 6 months.