wellownedbkup

so i just posted a reply, not two seconds ago, about this author's journal. she gets really personal and whines so so so so much that it's disgusting. totally unprofessional. considering the books, i guess i shouldn't expect more. but still. ugh. really. and it hurts that i'm gonna complain now.

i'm broke. i have a grand total of 100 bucks for poland, and i need to have 899 to turn in by feb 2 at the latest as a deposit. :( i'm turning in loan papers tomorrow, to try to re-up my loan to the original level, which'll get me maybe 1200 bucks. which, that's not bad. but still. ugh. it's bad.

add to that how I CANNOT FIND MY PASSPORT. it's in my house. i haven't taken it anywhere. i put it away when i got back from england TWO YEARS AGO. and now it's non-existent. if all else fails, i'll have to REORDER MY PASSPORT AGAIN, WITH EXPRESS SHIPPING *AGAIN* during february. WHY.

i went to see "the curious case of benjamin button" sunday night. which, i guess was kinda awesome. i liked the movie. it was bittersweet. nearly froze my feet in the little snow we had. but while i was gone, apparently my mom busted a vessel in her eye. WAY TO GO. i leave, and suddenly, everything fails. and my dad's back to freaking out and yelling about how he's doing all he can, and it's still not enough. and my grandmother's back to running everyone ragged with her nagging, pestering, pedantic attitude. oh, i could scream.

if i *can* pay for poland and get the paris trip, The New Boy and Miami said they'll come hang with me on my free day in paris. AWESOME. not because of either of them, really. but because it means that i'll have friends that i know at some point on the trip. and i miss that. i really want to see my cousins, to buck them up some, but you know.

i keep listening to the "were the world mine" soundtrack and my brain supplies visuals from high school. which, on the one hand, FREAKY MAKEUP for midsummer night's dream. on the other, dude on the album has a much better voice than either andy and crisreed.

apparently i could possibly actually get the post at the airport as a screener? which, i dunno. it's good, cause i asked for that job ages and ages ago. and i wonder if it's possible to work there and get the money i need and still have july off. i dunno. it's part time too. it's more of an iffy than a good note. but it's still... i may get hired, and it's 13 an hour. *shrug* i'd much rather get a call saying "yes, we want you as an ATC. come. live in chicago. or florida. we're not picky." i need a move. i don't even need to finish school at this point. i'm tired. i mean, it's not *hard* to finish at this point. i'm just TIRED. i'm blaming that on the season.

the day they make me gorgeous? i'd like to just hang around. like a ceiling fan mounted upside down. i'd have three settings that would all seem to suck air out of the room. gorgeous. gorgeouser. gorgeousest. i say that in which i mean to say that if i ever get down to a 16, you will see me wearing only pencil skirts and high heels, clingy blouses and v-neck sweaters. my hair will be tossed over a shoulder in a lazy ponytail and i'll be the sexiest girl you've never met. at that point, i will own thigh-high boots and wear funky colored socks and would mess with everyone's brain cause they won't know what to make of me.

i'm in a ridiculous baking mood at the moment. there's two bottles of guinness in my fridge that will eventually become beer soup or voerlimpa (beer bread). i'm entering some cupcakes i made into a contesty type thing-- cupcake hero. they're gingersnap cupcakes, with white chocolate pumpkin cheesecake filling. and this week i'm baking a 7up cake or two, as well as a big red cake (should i find a proper recipe...), maybe some more cupcakes... i don't particularly care that most folks in the family don't care for cupcakes.

i've got work in 5 hours? and i'm tired. but can't go to sleep. :( remind me next time i decide to let my brain run off that i should take a chill pill and sleep.